had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
