she kept yelling 'call me bella'
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
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i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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