Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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