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• (516): View more from New York

  Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds

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• (559): View more from California

  Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.

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• (325): View more from Texas

  But how do I turn off the feelings though?

  (432): View more from Texas

  Vodka.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.

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• (320): View more from Minnesota

  I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.

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