Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
