I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hippo gnu deer
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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