If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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