I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
