I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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