I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize