I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
