i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Randomize
