That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
