i think my tv is drunk
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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