Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
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