Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound