So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?