Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Dicks are not precious.