My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
