you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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