If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize