He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
