I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
