everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
