You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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