So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
