Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
