Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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