That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
