You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
