Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
