two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
