What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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