Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
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I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
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Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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