Well douche your snatch and let's go!
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?