the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking