i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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