this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
