gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize