I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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