Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
