...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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