so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
