the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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