im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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