Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I got inside last night via doggy door
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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