good thing vaginas are great cup holders
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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