guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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