the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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