I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
where does the pee come out of this thing
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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