Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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