Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
