he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
