i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
