That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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