is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He shit in the fireplace
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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