wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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