I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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