Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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