Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize