Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
