Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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