I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
