tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
