I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
3 2 1 whiskey
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
