At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
