My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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