i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
