Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
