What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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