Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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