I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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