Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Randomize
