fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
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