You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
sex in a hospital.. check
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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