I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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