forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
